July 10, 2004

  • Today’s tip of the day is brought to us by “Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter” If you think a village is being terrorized by a vampire, simply bury dead toads in a circle around the area and you’ll know for sure because vampires bring dead toads back to life. Sounds like an infomercial, “Did your childs frog meet an untimely demise and you don’t want your little boy to cry, well simply call 1-866- VAMPIRE and one of our specialists will be out to your house at nightfall and revive your warted pet. Call now and we’ll throw in our special blood reduction, erra blood pressure reduction service, all for just $19.95”

July 6, 2004

  • Alrighty, let me preface this entire entry by saying I like cops. A couple of my friends are cops and they have jobs that I could never hope to do myself.


    begin rant…


    That being said there was a show on tonight on ABC that was about the real NYPD and they showed some officer pull over a driver. The stop happened on a busy road so the officer asked the driver to pull off at the next intersection but before the cop got back into the car he told the camera something to the effect of “That guy is wasted, drunk” Here is where I have my first problem with this, the knows he is drunk but lets him drive to the next intersection to pull over, hmmmm.


    At the intersection it turns out the cop is going to use his own discretion and let the driver off with a warning which is okay by me I guess but in the next instant the cop takes his keys and throws them into the truck, closing the door locking the keys inside. He tells the driver to take a cab home or he’s going to get arrested. Before the drivers daughter could even say it I’m thinking, isn’t it probable that their house keys were on that keychain? The driver is up in arms that he has no place to go now that he can’t get in his house and all the cop says is take a cab and go home, “I don’t care if you have to break into your house, just go home.” Of course the whole thing ended up with the driver getting taken in since he was liquored up he got in the cops face but I can’t understand how the cop though he was making anything better by leaving a father and daughter stranded withouta way to get in their home. Ugh


    end rant…


     


    I can’t wait for Anchorman to come out, it looks hilarious. Will Ferrell has absolutely no shame and will do anything for a laugh.


     


    Saw Spidey this weekend, along with half the free world. It was great that they made it more than a super hero flick and I liked it a lot, but I just couldn’t make myself feel bad for Peter Parker like the director wanted me to. I mean come on, he’s SPIDER MAN!!! The last hour, hour and twenty minutes were great; effects, action, Kirsten Dunst in bondage, it had everything!!!


     


    I saw the fantastic pic, “Reptilicus” over the weekend. Fake model monster spitting green goo that reminded me of those Nickelodeon “I’ve been slimed” shows. And oh the acting. I can hear the director now, “No, damn you! That’s too much emotion!” Of course I heard the director was a pioneer in the 3D film world so I have to give him some credit, do I?


     

June 26, 2004

  • Not much has been going on lately.


     


    I finally got to see Lewis Black’s HBO special. I think that guy has the best delivery in stand up comedy today. The way he shakes his head at an unbelievable moment, points his finger at the camera. Not only points his finger but wiggles it to make his point even stronger. His material is great too but his delivery is what makes me tear up with laughter.

June 13, 2004

  • Well today was a fun day. I got to play with the new my new wi fi laptop. Of course I first hooked up the cables backwards and got all pissy that nothing ever works out easily for me. Some days I’m just about as smart as a box of hammers. Is that supposed to be bag of hammers or a box? What’s the easiest way to transport a multitude of hammers?


     


    I watched The Return of the King last night and one of the guys made a comment when the scene where Aragorn asks Gandalf if there was any word on Frodo. He asked, “How are they supposed to get word from Frodo? Is there an embedded reporter with them?” I thought that was pretty funny.


     


    Anywho, I broke down and bought Bubba Ho-Tep but I still haven’t gotten the time to watch more than the intro. I hope that Bruce Campbell lights it up as Elvis like I know he should.

June 11, 2004

  • Christopher Walken should have been invited to the San Jose arena league
    football game last weekend
    . The team gave hundreds of cowbells to their fans
    before the game to disrupt the other team, he could have led the fans. It’s too
    bad that the league fined them $20,000 they must have never seen SNL.

     

    Is it just me but if you put your kid in this product

     

    aren’t you calling your kid sperm?

June 10, 2004

  • Ladies, if you want to see a lot of swim suited college aged
    guys in a really bad sci-fi movie pick up Leeches. Now I know how used women must
    feel with just about every other movie. Every two minutes there was a shot of a
    nearly dressed guy up on screen, but if that were it I would have been able to
    manage. Many of the shots of these guys’ bodies were in slow motion, ugh.

    The director realized they didn’t have enough of a plot for
    a movie so they had to stretch things out as much as possible. I think this director
    went to the Six Million Dollar Man school of filmmaking, you know how at least
    8 minutes of that show was in slow motion when he was using his ‘powers’.

    All in all it was a fun movie to mock which is all I
    was watching it for. The mid sized killer leeches were the best

June 9, 2004

  • I’m so glad to see that my co-workers and I aren’t the only
    dorks that sit around and talk about who would win in a fight between comic
    book heroes. There is a guy at work that insists Wolverine could smoke ANY
    superhero by lopping their head off. I can’t wait to show him this page here.

June 7, 2004

  • There are several things I like about summer. One of them is
    that there is much less new TV on. Now hold on before you get all crazy with, “Whatever
    do you mean?!”

    I’ve turned into the quintessential couch potato, and now
    with the age of TIVO it has gotten worse. Now that there is less original
    programming on I’ll be able to go out and do something with my life.

    Of course what I usually do during the summer is catch up on
    my movie watching and sign back up with Netflix. Another of my passions is
    watching B movies and wallowing in their crapulence. I miss MST3K and what
    makes that worse is that I just got turned on to it the last few years it was
    in reruns.

    This looks like a movie I absolutely have to see.

June 4, 2004

  • I just heard the funniest line of the week. From the upcoming Ben Stiller movie Dodgeball, "You know, in some cultures they only eat vomit."


    That shouldn't be funny but it is...

June 2, 2004

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